7 Ways Leaders Kill Honest Feedback (Without Realizing It) - And How to Fix It
Picture this scene: A CEO asks their team for 'complete honesty' - then spends the next hour unconsciously shutting down every person brave enough to give it. Sound familiar? If you're a leader, you might be doing this without even realizing it.
The Feedback Paradox
Multiple studies from HBR to Gallup, have shown that while 80%+ of leaders believe they create an environment that encourages open feedback, only ~25% of their employees agree. This stark disconnect isn't just about perception – it's costing companies innovation, talent, and ultimately, their bottom line.
The truth is, most leaders genuinely believe they want honest feedback. They institute open-door policies, schedule regular one-on-ones, and frequently tell their teams, "I welcome all perspectives." Yet somehow, the real, unfiltered feedback rarely comes.
Why? Because creating a true feedback culture isn't about what leaders say – it's about what they do.
The 7 Hidden Feedback Killers (And How to Fix Them)
Sadly I've seen most of these in the organizations I was a part of so my guess, these are happening at workplace near you!
1. Getting Visibly Agitated When Decisions Are Questioned
What it looks like: Your face tightens, your tone shifts, or you cross your arms when someone asks about the reasoning behind a decision. Even if you eventually answer, your body language has already sent a clear message: questioning decisions isn't welcome here.
The fix: Practice conscious response management. When someone questions a decision, take a deliberate breath, maintain open body language, and respond with, "That's a great question. Let me walk you through my thinking, and then I'd love to hear your perspective."
2. Shooting Down Dissenting Opinions in Meetings
What it looks like: Someone raises a concern, and you immediately counter with all the reasons their idea won't work. You might think you're being efficient, but you're actually training your team to stay quiet.
The fix: Adopt the "Yes, and..." approach from improv. Acknowledge the value in their perspective before adding your own: "That's an interesting point about [their concern]. What if we combined that with [your perspective]?"
3. Only Asking for Feedback on "Safe" Topics
What it looks like: You're happy to discuss office snacks or meeting schedules, but strategic decisions or leadership approaches are notably absent from feedback requests.
The fix: Regularly schedule "strategy squares" – dedicated sessions where you explicitly invite criticism of major decisions and strategic direction. Make it clear that these discussions are crucial for the company's success. I love asking "why won't this work AND what can we do to mitigate it?"
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4. "Fake Listening" - Thanking Without Acting
What it looks like: You say "thank you for sharing that" to every piece of feedback, but your team never sees any changes result from their input.
The fix: Create a visible feedback loop. When you receive significant feedback, document it, share your intended action plan, and provide regular updates on implementation. Even if you decide not to act on feedback, explain your reasoning. You will get more respect when you say No. At least you took action.
5. Jumping in Before Others Finish
What it looks like: As soon as you think you understand someone's point, you start responding – often cutting off crucial context or alternative solutions.
The fix: Institute the "10-second rule." After someone finishes speaking, count to ten silently before responding. This creates space for additional thoughts and demonstrates that you're truly listening.
6. Getting Defensive Instead of Curious
What it looks like: When faced with criticism, you immediately explain why you're right instead of trying to understand the other perspective.
The fix: Make curiosity your default response. Replace "Actually, that's not right because..." with "Help me understand what led you to that conclusion." Your goal isn't to defend – it's to learn.
7. Creating Implied Agreement Expectations
What it looks like: Your team has learned that while you say you want honest feedback, what you really want is validation. They've mastered the art of agreeing with you to avoid conflict.
The fix: Actively reward constructive disagreement. Publicly thank people who raise concerns. Share examples of when feedback changed your mind. Make it clear that agreement isn't a path to advancement – valuable insight is.
How much Do you Value Truth?
Remember, the goal isn't to create a culture of constant criticism. It's to build an environment where truth is valued over comfort, where challenges are seen as opportunities, and where every team member feels empowered to contribute their genuine perspective.
The most valuable feedback often comes from unexpected places – but only if you've created an environment where people feel safe enough to offer it. As a leader, that environment is your responsibility to build and maintain.
Your team has insights that could transform your organization. The question is: are you truly ready to hear them?
